Dear American Progressives and Socialists,

I can tell that you and I are making each other unhappy. I want this country to be one thing, and you want it to be another thing, and no matter how much data we compare, it seems like our value system will always be opposed. I believe in the traditional American ideals of rugged individualism and libertarian freedom, and you believe that Europe has it figured out with their welfare states. I don’t think we can reconcile these differences in values, and I don’t think we can tolerate each other.

Well, I have a solution for you that I believe would be mutually agreeable. Rather than trying to change the US, why not pack up and move to Europe? You’re always telling me how great it is there, so why not live in that sort of paradise? I’ll enjoy my heartless, deregulated, Gilded Age plutocracy, and you can enjoy a 35-hour workweek, socialized health care, government trains, and all the “social justice” you can stomach. I hear France just elected a Socialist Party president. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted? To live in Paris under a radically left-wing government?

Believe me, I would pack up and leave the States if there were somewhere more libertarian I could go. Singapore is nice, but its government tends to get a little too positively involved in businesses. They are busybodies. Australia has implemented some reforms lately, but I’m not so sure it will last, considering how “European” the Australians are (they’ve nationalized health care!). I’ve also considered Switzerland, but I have the same concerns about the European influences on them. Hong Kong looks great, but I’m not so sure about the intentions of their new masters. The US is the only country in the world that I know has a large population favoring libertarian values, and the tradition to keep it around. So at least for now, I’m stuck with it.

I mean, let’s be honest about the United States now. The Supreme Court is about to make nationalized health an impossibility here for a generation by striking down Obama’s Individual Mandate. Mitt Romney is almost certainly going to be president in January, and Scott Walker is certainly going to survive in Wisconsin. The Tea Party has embedded itself in the Republican Party, and Ron Paul’s followers are growing in number and gaining more mainstream recognition. The Great Blue States of the West and Northeast are losing population and influence as their budgets explode into the red, and their regulations multiply along with their cost-of-living. The Progressive Era here is ending as Libertarianism returns to the forefront of American thought. Do you really have much to gain by sticking around?

So please, won’t you take the step that will allow us to live in peace and harmony…far away from each other? Please move to Europe. Or Latin America or something like that. We will both be happier for it.

Your Friendly Libertarian Neighbor,